Re-write

            Kopchak had lived around here all of his life. His and Thompson’s properties abutted Kopchak Road, named after his great-uncle. Kopchak didn’t know much about lions. In fact, he’d been a seventh-grade science teacher up until he retired four years ago. He had, however, heard, that it was unwise to look them in the eye, and that if you ran away they had a tendency to chase you. Settling on what he considered a brisk walking pace for himself and Red he headed towards the barn, and only looked back once. The lion was in the same place as a moment ago, on the other side of the fence, though it was obvious that the animal could get over said fence anytime it wanted to.

            That was all the five of them learned before they were urgently redeployed to the southern end of the property where some cats had been spotted readying to cross the boundary fence. A male African lion was the first they had to deal with, he managed to run between some junk cars after the first shot. The hillside had dozens and dozens of old cars and RVs and tractors parked in clumps of rusted metal, weeds growing around them. Other escapees spread across the hillside, and they began to engage the animals from seventy to a hundred yards away, from the elevated position of the truck, firing on the animals two at a time until they went down. Kanavel's tactic was to shoot for the head a couple of times, and then move on to the body and keep putting rounds into it. "I was sick, shooting these animals, because they didn't ask to be there," he says. "And, you know, I'm a cat person."

In this passage, try to tighten the writing while advancing the action:

            When the 911 operator asked for her first name, Mrs. Kopchak answered "Dolores," the name on her birth certificate but one she never uses: "I've been called Dolly for eighty-four years."

            Her son remained trapped in the barn. From there, looking through a north-facing window, he watched the menagerie grow.

I really only touched the underlined areas. It was so great to begin with, I feel as if I've only butchered it.